skadventuretime replied to your post

“makapedia CROSS POST ALL THE SOCIAL MEDIA

look i don’t get…your hair…”

i relate too hard to the house fungus bun

idk how normal people can wear a bun cutely like the moment my hair is in a bun i immediately become a caveman, like my bra comes flying off on its own and suddenly crocs appear on my feet

irislafontaine replied to your photoset

“CROSS POST ALL THE SOCIAL MEDIA   look i don’t get pretty very often…”

..I-Is that your actual hair? Not a wig? I’m jus– WOW. What did you do to get it that long, please?

yep it is all mine. wish i could say i do some kind of magic thing to do it but i’ve been a hair and nail growing machine since birth. i literally have no clue.

i can, however, tell you how i treat my hair once my body pushes it out of my head which i would like to believe helps keep it growing beyond the event horizon:

baby your hair. it is your dead follicle child

• hair clips
• so late 90′s but nicer than rubber bands
• if i have a chance to not use a rubber band, i’ll take it
• sometimes tho i have to, like with volleyball
• towels are evil
• i use big old t-shirts. they become sopping messes, but they are nicer to your hair than terrycloth
• i want to say microfiber things are good too but don’t quiz me on that
• braids
• it’s like an armadillo of protection
• keeps you from choking yourself in the night
• also doubles as a weapon
• for some reason being able to french braid your own hair earns you like +20 respect from complete strangers which is weird but also kind of cool??
• like i didn’t learn it to be fancy, i learned it because my curly bangs drive me insane, it was self preservation
• conditioner
• always
• shampoo
• only the top/scalp (unless i’ve used a buttload of like a silicon-based serum and it needs to come off)
• usually 2, maybe 3 times a week unless i’m absolutely filthy
• dry shampoo to get through oily days, though i try to use sparingly because i think it just encourages more oil which makes me use more dry shampoo and feels like a marketing trap
• brushes
• basically never
• wide tooth comb
• if i do comb through my hair, it’s with this
• COMB THE BOTTOM FIRST, DON’T START AT THE TOP AND YANK IT DOWN TO HELL dat bad, stop dat
• most of the time i don’t even comb though, like after the shower i flip my hair 5 or 6 times like an elegant mermaid or a hair metal band trying to perform a slow-dance, and let the curly demons do their thing as it air-dries
• tbh i typically comb my hair like one out of every three washes unless i’m about to style it
• trim dat shiz
• hair seems p resistant to growing if the ends are jacked
• i trim it myself coz i live in the middle of nowhere and have no peers so if i fuck up literally no one cares, even me
• also i just don’t trust salons anymore
• i also do the thing where you twist a few strands around and hunt for split ends. this helps with like 20 percent of my frizz situation
• coconut oil
• i melt some in a bowl and dip my hair in it. let it sit in a showercap or grocery bag when i can’t find the stupid shower cap for about 20 minutes, then shower. 
• i try to do this after every time i’ve used hot tools on my hair because nothing says death like 410 degree pink curling dildos
• keyword here is try
• i’m lazy
• re: hot tools
• that being said, i very rarely use anything hot on my hair, unless it’s like, the sun. that damn sun.
• flat irons/curling irons like once or twice a month, typically
• i’m a part-time reclusive hermit, remember
• if i know i’m going to be in public for several days, then i style with hot tools with the intention on making the style last between showers, so ultimately only 2 or 3 times a week maximum anyway, if i’m going to bother
• again, lazy
• i only use my hair dryer when i’m in a time crunch– it air-dries 98% of the time, but it also takes like 3 hours because humidity is stupid
• HEAT PROTECTANT SPRAY TO SAVE A LIFE

TL;DR: embrace the fungus life and become a mermaid only once a blue moon