a ‘conversation’with Boy

boy: is there a can of dog food in the fridge?
me: i think so? top shelf?
boy: oh, behind THE BALONEY
me: /snicker
boy (in forced southern accent): you were hidin’ behind yer buhloney
we’ll fix that with sum CON-deements
me: you do that, then
boy: put the mustard on YER BUHLONEY
me (tuning out at this point): uh huh. spread the mustard.
boy: that’s what i said!
me: do you even know what you’re saying
boy: do YOU?
me: i dunno, are you allergic to mayo?
boy: wow you just took things to the physical
me: IT’S PERSONAL, NOW
boy: (anticlimactically walks away with the dog food)
me: (left hanging, unsure what the hell we even talked about)